


Bittersweet Memories

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24557581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: AU. Charlie and Duffy take a trip to the seaside about a year after her dementia diagnosis.
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 4





	Bittersweet Memories

Charlie strolled along the prom, it was mid afternoon on one of those early autumn days where you could almost believe it was still summer, the sun was shining and there was only a gentle breeze coming in off the sea. He looked away from the horizon, turning his head to look down at his wife. She hadn't said much during their walk, she seemed lost in her own thoughts. Whatever they were he had no idea, he didn't want to think too much along those lines as that led to him thinking about how memories would gradually fade more and more from her mind as time passed, such was the cruel fate she had been dealt more than a year ago now. He was just thankful they'd managed to sort out their differences that had been caused by a combination of him working too much and the behavioural changes induced by her illness which neither of them had realised was beginning to exert itself upon her at that point in time.

He sighed softly and looked back out over the sea. They continued walking for a few minutes more until he felt a sudden pull on his arm which caused him to stumble slightly over his own feet as Duffy stopped walking without warning.

"This way." She insisted as she pulled him towards a gap in the wall that led to a twisting alleyway that didn't seem to really go anywhere.

Confused by her sudden demand Charlie briefly hesitated. His pause was long enough for Duffy to decide to pull her arm loose from his and begin walking in the direction she had indicated without him. He quickly realised that she wasn't going to wait for him or come back so he headed into the alleyway after her. Even though he was only a few moments behind her he couldn't see her ahead which concerned him.

After a couple of minutes of following the twists and turns of the alleyway it suddenly opened out into a park that looked out over the sea. Casting his eyes around he quickly spotted her sat on one of the benches. He walked swiftly over to her.

"Please don't ever run off like that again!" He admonished her with a frown.

Duffy rolled her eyes. "I'm not a child, Charlie, so don't treat me like one."

"I know you're not but I didn't know where you'd gone." He paused. "I was worried." He added softly.

Duffy's features softened as she saw the genuine concern that filled her husband's face. A small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth as she patted the space on the bench next to her.

Charlie sat down and slipped his arm around her as she rested her head gently against his shoulder. Neither spoke as they took in the view, content in each other's company.

Finally it was Duffy that broke the comfortable silence.

"We've been here before. This exact bench as a matter of fact."

Charlie quickly searched his memory and realised that she was in fact correct. He tried to mask the incredulous expression that briefly flickered across his face but she'd spotted it.

Duffy rolled her eyes once more. "I haven't forgotten everything you know!" She muttered, clearly irritated.

Charlie sighed. "I know that!" He replied, attempting to appease her. They'd had such a lovely day so far and he really didn't want them to fall out now. "I was just surprised that you would bring up that trip."

"Of course you were." She replied, shaking her head with mild irritation. She paused for a few moments before resuming talking once more. "I never did tell you why I invited you to join us that day did I?"

"No you didn't. I just presumed you didn't fancy driving all that way with just Peter for company." He shrugged.

Duffy chuckled. "If that was the case then I would have simply invited along the bloke I was seeing at the time." She reasoned.

"Oh that moron!" He remarked, his distaste obvious in his tone.

"That's not particularly specific of you Charlie!" She replied, dissolving into giggles.

"What?"

Duffy quirked an eyebrow at him as she managed to rein in her laughter. "You could be describing pretty much any of my ex-partners when you say that!"

"Well I'm glad you've finally noticed that fact."

"What? That you've been instantly jealous of any bloke that dared to so much as even look at me over the last 30 years? Yes, I had noticed." She paused for a few moments before waving her hand dismissively. "Anyway, that's not what I was trying to tell you so stop interrupting before I get muddled. This is important."

Charlie sat quietly and watched as Duffy took a few moments to order her thoughts. He recognised the look of intense concentration that flooded her features as she did so. He'd seen that look several times in the past when she had been struggling to master a tricky new skill at work while still only a junior nurse. It pained him to see that expression returning more and more frequently in recent times as she attempted to hold the disease at bay.

Duffy smiled. "I know you're not going to believe this but it all started with a photograph..."

Charlie debated briefly whether he should correct her, worried that she was mixing up her memories but also fearful of accidently upsetting her if he did.

As if reading his mind Duffy shot him a glare. "Not that photo, a different one. I knew you'd think I was getting confused before I said anything. I even considered not telling you but none of the rest makes sense if I don't." She explained.

"Anyway. A couple of days before the trip I was doing some tidying. You know how sentimental I can be with things. So I was sorting through a box of photos. I think Peter was watching a cartoon or playing with a toy. He came over and pulled a photo out the box, pointed at me in the photo and said "mama". He then pointed at the other person in the photo and said "dada". I tried to explain that that wasn't his dad but he threw a tantrum and refused to give the photo back."

She paused and looked over at Charlie to gauge his reaction. To her frustration he seemed determined to keep his expression neutral. She took a deep breath and continued.

"It played on my mind for days. Especially after our conversation in your office where you talked about wanting a wife and kids. I thought maybe..." She looked down, suddenly nervous, her cheeks heating up as they blushed a deep red colour.

Duffy cleared her throat and sat up straighter, squaring her shoulders. "Things seemed really great between us. I know we'd always been close friends but there was just something different developing between us and it felt wonderful. So I decided to chance my luck and invite you out for the day with us. I know you thought I was crazy suggesting a day at the seaside in the middle of October but well..." She shrugged, giggling girlishly.

Charlie joined in her laughter. "Yes it did seem like an odd suggestion but, well, you could be quite an odd girl at times so I just decided to go with it." He stroked her shoulder as he saw her eyes light up with mild irritation at his comment before quickly adding. "I wasn't stupid enough to turn it down though and pass up the chance of spending an entire day with you away from work."

A wistful look overtook her features. "It ended up being such a great day. Perfect, just the way I'd hoped it would be. I could block out reality and pretend, even just for one day, that things were the way that old lady in the cafe presumed they were. That we were simply a normal little family enjoying a fun day out. That I wasn't a single mum struggling to juggle working full time and raising my son. That I was more to you than just your best friend..."

She paused once more to gather herself before continuing. "We ended up in this park, on this exact bench and sat watching the sun go down whilst Peter slept in his stroller. I'd never experienced a more perfect moment. I desperately wanted to reach over and kiss you but I was too nervous, too afraid to make that step and risk rejection." She whispered.

Charlie's mouth fell open as he tried to summon the words to explain that the exact same thoughts had gone through his mind in that moment too. Before he could say a word she continued.

"Once we returned to work you seemed to pull away from me. I feared you'd figured out my intentions and weren't interested. So you were letting me down gently or something. I gave it one last go at Christmas but then everything got so complicated and by the time I realised a possible reason for why you had pulled away from me it was too late, things had gone too far and I was on a journey I couldn't alter. But I never forgot that day." She sighed. "I hope I never do." She whispered, her voice breaking.

Charlie's heart broke as he watched a single tear roll down his wife's cheek. His thoughts flowed freely from his mouth.

"Its all my fault for not realising, for being too caught up in my own life to see what was staring me right in the face. If only I'd known, things could have been so different." He sighed. "So much time wasted!" He concluded bitterly. That was the thing that angered him most about her diagnosis - the realisation of all the missed opportunities and wasted time. All of which, he felt, were of his making. If only he'd realised how limited their time together would end up being.

Duffy sat and watched Charlie's internal war play itself out across his face. She reached out and placed her hand on his cheek. She waited patiently until he focused fully on her before she spoke.

"I didn't tell you all of that to make you feel bad over mistakes we both made in the past. I told because I wanted you to realise how much you've always meant to me. How much you'll always mean to me, even when I no longer have the words to tell you. You'll just have to remember it all for both of us." She briefly looked away, out over the sea towards the horizon. Her face lit up with a big smile. "Looks like the sun will be setting soon. What do you say to us staying here and getting things right this time?"

Charlie pulled her back into his arms and placed a gentle kiss on her hair. "I can't think of a more perfect end to a perfect day. I love you."

"Love you too." She replied, snuggling closer and smiling wistfully as they waited for the sun to set.


End file.
